matthewgruman.com

I was looking for a way to keep the About section up to date and came across this one from Dzone that works really well:

function birthday ($birthday)
{
list($year,$month,$day) = explode("-",$birthday);
$year_diff = date("Y") - $year;
$month_diff = date("m") - $month;
$day_diff = date("d") - $day;
if ($month_diff < 0) $year_diff--;
elseif (($month_diff==0) && ($day_diff < 0)) $year_diff--;
return $year_diff;
}

You can activate it with:

echo birthday("YYYY-MM-DD");

I’ve been growing a moustache with my co-worker, Stephen, since the beginning of the month to raise awareness for prostate cancer (it runs in my family). If you are interested in donating, please visit my Movember page.

At the start of Movember guys register with a clean shaven face. The Movember participants, known as Mo Bros, have the remainder of the month to grow and groom their moustache, raising money and awareness along the way.

If you’re also participating, please let me know. I’ll donate to yours if you donate to mine.

Awesome Vancouver Buskers from Matthew Gruman on Vimeo.

Steps towards recognizing great street performers:

1. Remove headphones
2. Stay and listen
3. Record a video
4. Empty pocket change

From the back cover:

One night in April, after a Sunday soccer game, Alan Twigg, a writer, couldn’t remember the names of his two sons or his wife—and he couldn’t hold a pen. After a scan at the Emergency, he learned he had a large brain tumour squeezed against the motor cortex. Intensive Care tells the story of why this was a good thing.

This is a really touching collection of poems. Twigg found himself losing the tools that make him who he is (i.e. his ability to write and think); this book follows his journey to once again reach normalcy.

Many of the poems are accompanied by his child-like handwriting; written as he was still relearning that skill. You get to see what he was thinking, pre-edit, and how a few words scrawled on paper can become a truly beautiful piece of art. You get to witness his change in priorities from when he thinks he’s about to die, to a period of extreme self-reflection, and finally dealing with everything that happened and coming out the other side.

Shortstop

I knew for certain
things were going to be okay
when this brown clipboard
slipped from the hospital bed
and I caught it reflexively
before it hit the floor
like the shortstop I used to be.

You can buy Intensive Care directly through Anvil Press.

Photo Credit: LA Times

The Chords

Tim Fite
Big Mistake

Capo VI

C: x32010 -or- x32013
Em: 022000 -or- 022003
Am: x02210 -or- x02x15
F: 133211

The alternate chords, while a bit tricky to play, sound more like the record.

The entire song, save the "hold Am" parts, is:
C Em Am F

Show me the best that you got, and I'll show you one better
Show me your reddest rose, and I'll show you one redder
Tell me a dirty joke, and I'll laugh it off lightly
If I tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me 

Everyone gets to make one big mistake
And if you're waitin' on me
Well, I guess you're gonna have to wait (hold Am)

Ti-time-timing is everything if you've got nothin' but time
(I got nothin' but time)
And a lie don't mean nothin' if nobody knows when you're lying
(lie when you lie)
So lie when you do, lie when you don't
Lie when you didn't, lie till you lie, lie, lie, lie
They're wonderin' if anybody else is lying 

(end Am)

Everyone gets to make one big mistake
And if you're waitin' on me
Well, I guess you're gonna have to wait (hold Am)
'Cause I'm savin' mine up for a very, very special day
When I can fuck it all up in the most spectacular way  (hold Am)

Everyone gets to make one big mistake
And if you're waitin' on me
Well, I guess you're gonna have to wait
And wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait 

Everyone gets to make one big mistake
(mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake, mistake)
And if you're waitin' on me
Well, I guess you're gonna have to wait (you're gonna have to wait)
'Cause I'm savin' mine up for a very, very special day
(it doesn't even matter if it don't even matter)
When I can fuck it all up in the most spectacular way (hold Am)

Show me the best that you got, and I'll show you one better
Show me your reddest rose, and I'll show you one redder (hold Am)
Tell me a dirty joke, and I'll laugh it off lightly
If I tell you a dirty joke, you might not like me (hold Am)

Tabbed by Matthew Gruman, matthewgruman.com
Lyrics from http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=5&id=1024209

The Video

I’m done with blogging, at least for now. There are a few reasons for it, but the main one is how much I enjoyed being away from a computer this past weekend. I’ll probably still put some guitar/banjo/ukulele chords occasionally, but that’ll be about it.

It’s been very cool/weird to see all the people who have read/commented on the blog–thanks for reading! If you’d like to chat about anything, send me an email to my first name at my full name dot com.

• I read most of Douglas Coupland’s “jPod” and think I might be an intellectual masochist (no self-respecting gamer would call the PlayStation port of Chrono Trigger their favourite game. Yeesh.)
• Edmonton’s lack of café culture means I didn’t have to hear any acid jazz. This is a good thing.
• Not bringing my laptop was probably the greatest thing I ever did.
• I taught two kids under one year old to high five. I think I’ve found my life’s work.
• On the flight home, my seat row-mate and I knew a disturbingly high amount of the same people. Then I saw a client at the baggage claim. Then I saw the same people sitting in the row across from me on the bus ride home, the bus ride after I stopped for coffee, and then on the bus ride as I was coming home from the library.
• Someone pooped in the bathtub. Twice.

I really want to make a post about this, but everything I start writing just turns into an awful and pretentious discussion on “art”. So check it out, see if you can figure out why it got an A+, and why I put quotation marks around “art” (it’s really ridiculous).

Travis’ most recent post, Yes, this is from a real owner’s manual for a GE stove…and yes that says “Using the Sabbath Feature”, claims the following:

[T]he designer of this page, Matthew, is Jewish and has approved of this posting

1. I did not design his page. I customized the header, removed some too-busy elements, and redid the typography. Brian Gardner designed the template.
2. I am Jewish, but was not consulted for approval of the post.
3. I think a Sabbath feature on ovens is awesome and hilarious.
4. I’m not going to tell Travis about this post.

[UPDATE]: A retraction has been posted. The Internet works!

Other original programming planned for TheWB.com includes … “jPod,” a quirky soap set in the world of a video game design company…

Read the rest of the press release.

Thanks again to Firefly for keeping me up to date on the jPod situation. TheWB.com, provided it will be region-free, is an excellent venue for the show. There’s also a Post for the ‘Pod campaign about to begin at savejpod.ca (snail-mail bombardment in the week leading up to the Leo awards. jPod has 15 nominations.)